Truth and Dares
by Moyashi.beansprout
Summary: It's Lavi's birthday, and what game d'you think he wants to play? Yullen, nothing too bad... yet... Submit your craziest questions/dares!


Truth and Dares  
Disclaimer: D. Gray- Man and song lyrics do not belong to me!

Gaarin: Okay, so it's a kwic fic for my own entertainment because nobody in my class would play truth or dare with me...  
Mizuhara: You need a life.  
Gaarin: Oh shut it, you! Anyway, so if any of you have ideas for dares then please review with them or send them to me! VOTE FOR ME! Enjoy~

"Let's play truth or dare!"  
Lenalee sighed. "Lavi, I know it's your birthday party, but... Please... Couldn't we play a more appropriate game?" (1)  
The bunny smiled. "Truth and Dare is appropriate!"  
"Not with you it isn't," muttered Allen. Kanda che-ed in agreement.  
"Okay, so who goes first?" exclaimed Krory.  
Everyone shuffled around.  
Lavi said, "We could always play a less complicated game, like spin the bottle-"  
"I'll go!" said Miranda and Lenalee at the same time. They exchanged looks, and then Lenalee said, "Miranda, truth or dare."  
Miranda quavered. "Um... um... Truth?"  
Lenalee smiled nicely, before giggling evilly and making Miranda pale. "If your crush was an animal, who would he be?"  
Miranda scratched her head, obviously trying to think of an inconspicuous answer. "Um... a bat?" (2)  
Everyone laughed except Miranda and Krory, who both became extremely confused.  
Miranda said, "Um... Lavi? Truth or dare?"  
Lavi said, grinning, "I'll never pick truth."  
"O-okay..." Miranda turned to Lenalee. "Um..."  
Lenalee blinked, and then smiled. She leant over and whispered something in Miranda's ear. Miranda blushed and giggled girlily. "All right. Pick someone in this room and kiss them on the lips."  
Lavi smiled. "Oh, good. I was hoping it wasn't going to be a hard one." He turned to his right, and leaned forward to kiss Kanda. Kanda gathered immense strength from all the anti-Kandavi fans on the Internet, and pushed Lavi away. (3)  
Lavi fell backwards, and landed in Allen's lap. He smiled, and, before Allen could react, kissed Allen on the lips.  
There was a short moment before Allen's brain imploded, Lenalee kicked Lavi repeatedly, Kanda drew Mugen, Krory fell over laughing, and Miranda blushed and covered her eyes.  
Lavi laughed, and dodged Kanda and Lenalee's attacks. "Sorry, Allen! But you know it was your own fault..."  
Allen sputtered out angrily, "FOR WHAT?"  
Lavi giggled obscenely. "For looking so cute!"  
Allen fainted and his brain passed away. The funeral was short but sweet. (4)  
Lavi got a concerned look on his face. "Oh, no! Is Allen ok?"  
Lenalee knelt beside Allen, and shook him. He woke up. "Aa, what happe- AAAH! GET LAVI AWAY FROM ME!"  
Lavi laughed. "I was just poking fun. And, hey, Allen, now that you're up... Truth or dare?"  
Allen shuddered. "Truth, obviously."  
Lavi looked hurt. "Don't you trust me?"  
Allen considered Lavi. "The only person I trust less than you is Leverrier."  
Lavi laughed. "Smart kid. Now, answer me this, Aren-chaan! Do you, or do you not, have a crush on someone in this very room?"  
Allen smiled. "I do."  
Everyone gasped as though this was some major new development that was totally unexpected and not suggested in the manga at all. (5) Lavi smiled. "That's all for now."  
Allen relaxed. "Thank god. Okay, so... Kanda! Truth or dare?"  
Kanda frowned. "This is a fucking stupid game and none of you will ever learn anything in life by playing this retarded game and it doesn't fucking help anyone." (6)  
Allen said, "So... answer."  
Kanda che-ed. "Dare. I'm not a wuss."  
Allen grumbled, but then smiled, his dark side coming out and his anger temporarily placated. "I dare you to strip to your underwear and stay like that for the rest of the game."  
Kanda's eyes widened. "WHAT THE FUCK?"  
Allen smiled, and sat back contentedly. "If you're not a wuss, then it shouldn't be a problem, ne, BaKanda?"  
Lavi gave Allen a high-five. Kanda glared at them all. "Fine. But fuck you all to hell." Miranda shivered. Why was Yuu Kanda so foul-mouthed?  
Lavi laughed. "I've established that I'm going to hell so long ago that they've reserved an apartment for me in Tartarus, with penthouse rooms." (7)  
Kanda swore several more times before drawing Mugen, and throwing it aside. He then took off his belt, and Lavi whistled. Kanda rolled his eyes, and pulled his jacket off. (8) Lenalee laughed. "Yeah, Kanda!"  
He pulled his shirt over his head, and Miranda decided that she could no longer allow herself to watch and fled the room. He took his shirt, and added it to the pile of clothes. Krory followed Miranda.  
Lavi, much to everyone's irritation and embarrassment, began to cheer "Pants! Pants!" Kanda slipped him a side death glare. (9) He slowly took his hairtie out, and let his hair fall down his back.  
Allen said, "Kanda... If you'd like to keep your pants on..."  
Kanda smirked. "I'm no wuss, Moyashi."  
Allen's cry of "It's Allen" was lost as Kanda let his pants fall.  
There was silence.  
Lenalee blushed, and giggled.  
Lavi whistled, and got pants thrown at his head.  
Allen flushed. Kanda had gorgeous legs- What the fuck? He chided himself silently. Only Lavi bent that way.  
Kanda rolled his eyes, and said, "Moyashi. Truth or dare."  
Allen winced as he glanced at the almost nude samurai, and then looked away quickly. "Dare." What was the worst thing that Kanda'd be able to think of anyway?  
Kanda smirked. "I dare you to take off an article of your clothing everytime someone other than you says the word 'the', starting now."  
Lavi and Lenalee laughed at the terrified expression on Allen's face. "WHAT THE FUCK?"  
Lavi grabbed his friend's right sock and pulled it off, revealing Allen's cut toenails and white foot.  
Allen sweatdropped, and then sighed. "Fine, but can I stop when I get to th- my- Y'know..."  
Lavi smiled. "Yeah, you can stop stripping when you get to the underwear."  
Allen took his right glove off.  
Lenalee grinned. "Okay, Allen? Ask someone..."  
Allen said, "Lenalee, truth or dare?"  
Lenalee grinned. "Truth."  
"Ok... Who do you have a crush on?"  
Lavi and Kanda exchanged glances. Allen was such a girly girl.  
"Do I have to answer?"  
Lavi nodded.  
"Fine. Bak."  
Everyone's jaws dropped. Except Kanda, who che-ed, obviously.  
Allen sputtered out, "B-bak? How can you like Bak?"  
Lenalee shrugged, smiling impishly. "How can you not?"  
Lavi said, "It's easy! He's not even that attractive! I mean, compare him to all of the other..."  
He paused.  
"Um... sorry, Allen."  
Allen, blushing, took his left sock off. Kanda smirked, and Lenalee twinkled. She suddenly realized what a perfect couple Kanda and Allen would be. She began to imagine their first night, and Lenalee, yaoi fangirl as she was, could imagine pretty damn well. (10)  
Allen tried to distract himself from Lenalee's sudden revelation about Bak by changing the topic. "Lenalee, it's your turn."  
Lenalee glanced up from her yaoi fantasy. "Huh? Oh. Kanda, hit on Allen."  
Kanda's jaw dropped. "EXCUSE ME?"  
Lenalee ignored him, now visualizing black hair being let down from a hairtie.  
Kanda put his arm around Allen uncomfortably. "So, moyashi, doing anything tonight?"  
Allen 'pfft'ed. "Yeah, but not with you."  
Kanda grimaced, and then said, "We-ell, you could always reschedule, and come over to my place..."  
Lavi and Lenalee had both fallen over laughing.  
Allen's lip curled, but he tried to keep a straight face. "Um..." Allen's mind drew a blank. What was he supposed to say now? "Get away from me, you jerk!"  
Kanda laughed drily. "Yeah, but you know you like it when I'm a jerk..."  
Allen nodded slowly, and then swore. "Fuck! I didn't mean to do that-"  
Kanda turned Allen's face up towards him, and kissed him on the lips to shut him up. That was, Allen was sure, the only reason, of course. Why else would Yuu Kanda kiss him?  
Lavi and Lenalee had, by now, laughed until both of them had collapsed into a heap on the floor, still shaking with giggles. Allen pushed Kanda away, flushed, and Kanda che-ed, frowning, and looked at Lenalee. "Will that suffice?"  
Lenalee said quickly, "Yes, that's- eheh- that's more than enough..."  
Kanda smirked. "All right then. Lavi, truth or dare?"  
Lavi grinned. "Dare."  
Kanda said, without a second thought, "I dare you to tell everyone here who you like."  
Lavi shivered. Everyone expected him to come up with some dopey answer like Lenagirl or Yuu-chan or maybe even Allen. Nobody expected him to quaver, and blurt out, quickly and quietly, "Pleasure..."  
Allen smiled, confused. "What did you say?"  
Lenalee shrieked with discovery. "TYKI?"  
Lavi threw a hand over her mouth. "Shut up!"  
But the damage was done.  
Kanda drew Mugen. "This had better be a fucking joke, Lavi."  
Lavi said nothing, as he didn't have to. His turn was over. He turned to Allen, and said, "So... the truth? Or the dare?"  
Allen, still blushing, now stuck his tongue out at Lavi, and took his jacket off. He hesitated, and took his red necktie off instead of his left glove. "Truth."  
Lavi smirked. "Wuss. All right, Allen, if you had to kill one person in this room, who would it be?"  
Allen paled. "We-ell, if I killed Lenalee, Komui would kill me for sure, and plus, Lenalee's too nice to die. And it'd be next to impossible to kill Kanda, and plus- um- we wouldn't want to lose such a good Exorcist. And I couldn't kill you, Lavi! We'd need another Bookman... So, I guess, myself?" He sat up, waiting for their replies.  
Everyone began to try to console him. "Allen," said Lavi, "it was just a question... Nobody's gonna die..."  
Lenalee said, "That's horrible, Allen! Why would you- You could've just said Lavi!"  
Allen sighed. "But it was a 'truth' question. That's the truth."  
There was silence for a moment, and then Kanda che-ed. "Stupid Moyashi, with your stupid moyashi martyr complex. Don't you ever even try to kill yourself, or I'll kill you."  
Lenalee giggled, and Lavi snickered. Kanda gave both of them a death glare.  
Allen said softly, "Thanks, Kanda."  
Kanda che-ed, and looked away.  
Lavi said, "Hey, guys, I'm kind of hungry. What say we eat some food?"  
Allen looked over at Kanda, who was still shirtless and pantless, and still gorgeous. "Um... We're kind of indecent..."  
Lenalee smiled. "Oh, don't worry! I ordered the refreshments for up here!"  
Allen fumbled with a button on his sweater vest, and pulled it off. He put it on the floor, smiling. Maybe he could just take off buttons, so that his rate of stripping would be much slower.  
Lavi said, "Oh, come on now, Allen. You know that that doesn't count."  
Allen sighed, and took off the entire sweater-vest, leaving him in pants and long-sleeved shirt.  
Lenalee, oblivious to the fact that Allen was stripping, continued. "I can get Krory or Miranda to bring the refreshments up... Or maybe a Finder'll do it..." She stood up, and skipped off.  
Lavi stared pointedly at Allen, who sighed and took his shirt off. Kanda looked away, and Lavi giggled. "Wow, old man, been working out?"  
Allen shrugged it off. "Whatever, Lavi. I dare you to sing an embarrassing pop love song to Lenalee when she comes back."  
Lavi said, grinning, "Any guidelines?"  
Allen shrugged. "No."  
Lavi said, "All right then!" He set up a miniature table-stage, and smoothed his hair back.  
Kanda che-ed. "Stupid dare."  
"Like yours were better, BaKanda."  
The door opened, and Lenalee had a huge platter of food. "Okay, you guys, lunch is-" She didn't finish her sentence.  
"Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep!"  
Allen giggled. Lavi sounded like a drunk girl. (11)  
"I got a sick obsession! I'm seeing it in my dreams! I'm looking down every alley, I'm makin' those desperate calls, I'm stayin' up all night, hopin', hitting my head against the wall..."  
Lenalee gaped. "Lavi, are you high?"  
Lavi replied with, "What you got, boy, is hard to find! I think about it all the time. I'm all strung out, my heart is fried! I just can't get you off my mind!"

Somewhere in the building, Komui twitched and convulsed. "Reever... Someone is singing to Lenalee..."  
Reever rolled his eyes. "About what, love and drug addictions? I think you're going crazy, Komui."

"Because your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love! I said your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love!"  
Lenalee giggled. "Allen, what did you dare him to do?"  
Allen was rofling. "Just to sing you an embarrassing pop love song..."  
Lenalee high-fived Allen. Even Kanda was beginning to almost be amused by the usagi making a complete fool of himself.  
"I won't listen to any advice, Gramps telling me I should think twice- but left to my own devices, I'm addicted, it's a crisis! My friends think I've gone crazy-" (12)  
"Yup." interrupted Kanda.  
"-my judgment's gettin' kinda hazy! My sneeze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love-sick crack-head!"  
Allen whispered to Lenalee, "This is a terrible song."  
Lenalee replied, "At least he's not singing to you."  
"What you got, boy, is hard to find! I think about it all the time. I'm all strung out, my heart is fried! I just can't get you off my mind!"  
At the second usage of the masculine noun, Allen couldn't help but wonder if Lavi was singing to Lenalee or to someone else...  
"Because your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love! I said your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love!"  
Kanda rolled his eyes. "Lavi, please never become a song-writer."  
In the next line, Lavi glowered at Kanda especially.  
"I don't care what people say, the rush is worth the price I pay, I get so high when you're with me, but crash and crave you when you leave..."  
On this next line, Allen had to assume that Lavi was singing about someone else or he had an extremely masochistic death wish to be singing to Lenalee.  
"Hey, so I got a question! Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?"

Komui's brother-complex intuition gave him intense shivers. "That's it, Reever! Let's go find Lenalee!"  
Reever sighed. "But... paperwork..." Komui galloped off Tamaki-style, and Reever groaned and followed his insane supervisor. (13)

"Do I make your heart beat like a native drum? Is my love your drug? Your drug? Uh, your drug? Uh, your drug? Is my love your drug?"  
Lenalee shook her head, and opened her mouth to speak when Lavi burst into the chorus again.  
"Because your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love! I said your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love! Because your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love! I said your love, your love, your love is my drug- your love, your love, your love!"  
Allen continued to wonder if Lavi was drunk. "Hey... Heeeeey... Sooo, your love, your love, your love, is my drug..."  
He finished the song on a low whisper, and Lenalee cheered while Allen laughed and Kanda che-ed.  
"Thank you, thank you!" Lavi jumped off the table.  
Lenalee said, "Lavi, you weren't actually singing about me, were you?"  
Lavi blushed lightly, and said, "Allen, know how many times I said 'the' in that song?"  
Allen gasped. "No- no- that didn't count... No way!"  
The bunny laughed evilly. "A grand total of four. But unless you're wearing anklets or leggings or something, you only have one more piece before your underwear, and Yuu-chan said you could stop there..."  
Allen sighed, and stood up. He pulled at the drawstrings on his baggy pants, and they fell to his ankles, revealing his dark red boxers.  
It was, of course, at this moment that Komui and Reever stormed/sidled into the room.  
Lenalee smiled. "Ohai, Komui-san! We were just playing a game."  
Reever and Komui's jaw dropped. Lenalee was sitting by Lavi, who was blushing, and both Kanda and Allen were in their boxers. Also, a table was knocked over.  
Komui shrieked, "WHAT GAME, STRIP POKER? How dare you rascals corrupt my innocent sister's mind like so? I'm gonna kill you all!"  
Lavi said, "Truth or Dare, actually."

/To be continued/

(1) When is Lavi's birthday, anyway? Idk...  
(2) Aww... Miranda-chan's so cute and naïve 3 Everyone knows you have a crush on Krory un! You should have said a goat. That's what I would do. Because then everyone goes "WTF?" but your turn's over so you don't have to say a word.  
(3) Anti- Kandavi Fans, Lend Me Your Strength!  
(4) My brain died a long time ago, but it would turn in its imaginary grave if it knew what I was writing. If your brain has also passed away, leave an obituary.  
(5) I wish Hoshino-sama would write Yullen into -Man! I really do! She obviously thinks Allenalee would make a good couple... But what about Bak? It'd break his awesome heart... Gawd, I'm rambling XP  
(6) Damn fucking straight xD  
(7) If you're reading Yullen fanfiction like this, you're going to hell too, y'know. (Maybe I can get a room beneath Lavi's...)  
(8) While Kanda was stripping, Everybody Dance Now (the Biggest Loser workout mix, if anyone cares) was playing on my iPod. I lmaoed. "Make it hot in this party!" Insert Miranda's horrified face here xD  
(9) It's an Itachi reference from a part of my GaaHina story I haven't uploaded yet... T-T I'm SORRY!  
(10) Lemon please?  
(11) Ke$ha actually pisses me off, but Lavi could totally pull off this song. Just listen to it, and imagine the possibilities! xDDDDDD  
(12) Lol, well, Lavi didn't have a mommy, okay? So Gramps it is.  
(13) We had an Ouran High School Host Club marathon yesterday, and I've only just gotten obsessed with it! Komui and Tamaki remind me of each other. And Reever and Kyoya... well, Reever's Aussie, which makes him cool, and Kyoya is just Kyoya, which makes him cool. And they're both always thinking about work, except Kyoya's hair is cooler. (Sorry Reevie-chan! It's true though ;A;)

**Gaarin: Don't forget to tell me dares you want!**

Mizuhara: What if nobody does?

Gaarin: Then yeah. I'm screwed over. **Review with your truth/dare/s!**


End file.
